Friday, 25 March 2016

Strictly Crack (Is Wack)

What's crackalacking ?

Now, usually at this point we would start with an EPMD based pun, or something. However, this time around we here at Strictly Business HQ can't be izarsed, we have more important things to do, like drop some gems that are heavier than Neil from The Young Ones sitting on the lap of Jon Brower Minnoch listening to Big Pun with your Mum.

"Strictly Business ?
Didn't you dudes retire or something ???"

Nah brah, we all know what happens when hip hop twats announce their retirement...
We've just been hiding out beneath the ground, you know, to stop the government from killing us & shit.
To put it into an easily digestable term - we fucked off.
Yeah, fucked right off, then we come back wanting your attention, then we fuck off again.
Strictly Biz is like that girl you used to adore back in the day, every breath you took was for her, you remember.
Your whole world stopped when she went away, you didn't think you could cope, your entire universe was devastated.
But slowly, as time passed, you learned how to live without her, you remembered how to breath for yourself, & eventually you learned how to smile again...
Then she came back !

Yeah, aren't we hilarious.

Oh, by the way about that last post. I jumped Deaf Geoff & tied him to a tree, I think he's still there, I doubt that we'll be hearing from him again.
I still can't believe that he put a bloody 50 Cent track up here. What a nob.

Anyway, the planned Christmas thing didn't happen, or the new years thing, or any of the other things.
Never mind, Strictly Biz goes wonky so often that it's become traditional, & it's traditional that we disappear without trace, only to re-emerge chunkier that ever, i.e. we fuck off, then come back.
Uh, pardon me, uh.
So, keeping with the tradition of fucking off & coming back.
We fucked off.
Now we're back.
Back in Business.
Back to burn.
Back with Crack !

Yeah, crack. You may have heard of it.
Not an arse, or a fanny, or a fun time in Ireland.
You know, freebase cocaine, aka biscuits, aka fatbags, aka onion, aka scrabble, aka teeth, aka e.t.c.
The type of ready rock that didn't beatbox with Will Smith.

Put simply, smokable cocaine.
Just pop it in a pipe & away you go.
Yeah, you smoke it, cos anyone who would attempt to snort any kind of rock must be a bit of a dimwit (word up Gerald).
But once you've smoked it, it starts smoking you.
The smokers lost everything, & the dealers lost the ability to record decent music.

At this point, I advise you all to memorise this list to familiarise yourselves with some of the terms that will be used throughout this piece.

Crack started becoming mad popular in 1984, & by 1985 it was huge.
The epidemic was fuelled by the CIA & chums (ahem) - allegedly - shipping massive quantities of cocaine to the United States. Everyone was puffing away.
You see, when a new drug appears you generally only hear the upside to begin with, it takes a while for the badness to hit. People would lace their bifters with crack, megaspangled, no problemo, right ?


Proper wrong'un.

Here's the thing with drugs...
If you have some one day, try not to have them the next day.
If you do, then really try to not have them the next day.
If you do, then definitely don't have any the next day.
Hopefully that should do the trick.
Try to eat lots of vegetables instead.
Or something (™)
But crack is a right bugger.
It's a bit like Guinness.
First, it's like - "Eurgh, that tastes funny"
But then, it's like - "Ooh, I feel nice"

Yeah, like Guinness, & smoked haddock, & episodes of Sooty & Co, makes you feel nice, but if you do it all day, you go a bit wrong.

So, anyway - crack, yeah.
Here are lots of songs about crack.
Primarily from 1984 to 1987.
But, here's the funny thing.
If you were smoking crack from 1984 to 1987, you probably missed a lot of these tracks.
Strange how things turn out intit.

The point (?) here is not on some social commentary shit, this is about the music, yuh dig ?
However, we should point out that these are not the views of the entire Strictly Business squizzod, these are simply the ramblings of a man who is an obsessive rap nerd who likes spreading hip hop love nice & thick.
But don't love crack.
Do not luh dat shit.
Fuck uppers (™ Strictly Business 2016), stimulate yourselves with life.
It's fresh !
Anyway, downers are much better, you wonk off before you can spunk all your Regina's heads.
But then crack is kind of an upper & a downer, so it's a really intense version of the standard buy one/get one free thing.
But not intense in the good way, not for long anyway...
Drugs can/will fuck your looks, family, money, home & dignity.
Also your lungs, teeth, feet & bum. (feet & bum).
As well as your friends, your pride, your life, everything.

Bear with me.
No, I haven't got a bear with me.
I mean bare with me.
But it's not bare with me.
It's bear with me.


Sorry. I'm attempting to be serious, whilst keeping it lighthearted & upbeat, but I don't think it's going very well.
What i'm trying to say is crack is bad.
No, that doesn't sound right.
Crack is weak ?
No, but something along those lines.
Crack is wank ??
Well, obviously not, you can't put posters up in schools with that on can you now.
Crack is wack ???
Made to measure.

Like many other substances, crack fucked up many lives, that's not a good thing, as you keep getting told, life is fresh.
But in this world, you have to try to turn a negative to a positive.
And in the 1980's, some people stood near some microphones & tried their blumming best to flip the horrors of the crack era to something that we can all love...

Boom baps !
(sort of)

The year of crack was 1985.

1985 was 31 years ago.
(It would have been 30, but Strictly Biz were too shit to post this as planned in 2015.)

31 fucking years.
(Like I said, 30, shit, etc.)


1985 - The year that brought us the Sinclair C5.
1985 - The year of the Live Aid concerts.
1985 - The year of the first Wrestlemania.
1985 - The year the first Air Jordans were released.
1985 - The year of Rock The Bells, PSK, King Of Rock & La-Di-Da-Di.
1985 - The year Orson Welles, Yul Brynner & Wilfrid Brambell died.
1985 - The year Lily Allen, Lady Sovereign & Dizzee Rascal were born. (!?!)
1985 - The year crack hit big.
(The last two may have been related)

Luckily, every fucker loves retro these days, so we're bringing back the crack attack like Fleetwood Mac, Outback Jack & Jetpac.

And whilst we speaking about retro, let's get this one little chestnut straight.

If you're talking about the Ice-T LP, then it's fine to use the term "O.G.".
However, if you're talking about anything else using that term, then you are a pillock.
Are your shoes a "gangster" ?
No !
Are your records "gangsters" ?
No !
Is anything except a gangster "gangster" ?
No !

Stop being twannies.
But before the crack thing, the first part of another upcoming series -
"Completely Pointless Websites That Jacked Our Logo #1"

That was part one of -
"Completely Pointless Websites That Jacked Our Logo".
Hope you enjoyed it.
Part two soon, now, back to the crack.

Just one more thing before we start.

This is part one, it covers the years 1984 to 1987, & is strictly hip hop songs about crack. So for tracks about other forms of cocaine, or non specific drugs, or tracks released in 1988 & beyond, or non hip hop anti crack tracks, or other weird shit, look out for the next chapters in the saga...
(Except for all the errors that have definitely been made)...

Oh yeah - Remember that thing we mentioned a while back about Strictly Business & "quality over quantity" ?
Um, probably best if you forget about that for a bit.

Saying that, how could you go wrong with lots of tinny keyboard songs that say "cr-cr-crack" repeatedly ?
Flair thinks that all these tracks are dope, & Flair's taste in music is far superior to yours, so up yours pissface.

Pissface rhymes with kiss chase.

Right, that's more than enough of that shit.
Let's get cracking.

A few comments about the highlights...

The first track here is "Crackdown" by 2 Fresh, But I can't really write much about it because I don't know much about it other than it's rare, & it was on the Pitre label from Texas.

Equally mysterious is "The Rock" by 450, or 450SL. mainly because they neglected to put their name on the record label.
However, producer John Scroggings put out Zuri's "Not Tonight" in 1987 & that had a break on it.
Come on, a break in 1987.
No ?

This will get better.



"Tragic Magic" by the AC Posse may well be remembered by a few of you, it got a bit of radio plizay bizack in the dizay, I think The Boss played it a few times, & regular readers may well remember a version of the track was included on our Strictly Beatbox comp a few years back. No info on the Posse unfortunately, same goes for Crown Records, this 12" was the first & only release on the label, which I think was based in New Jersey.
One thing though, as I mentioned a few years back. I can understand totally why the Posse have probs with crack, but what's their beef with P-Funk ??? Hmmmm, maybe I need my ears cleaned out (I seriously do), but what did Dr Funkenstein & his mates ever do to the Posse ???
Saying that, this was the mid '80s, so it was probably due to musical torture.

Next up is the crew with possibly the best name EVER (Yes, even better than the MCs Of Rap) - the Ace Lord Chillers with "Living In A Cracktown", hugely digging this shit, that singalong chorus is more catchy than chlamydia. I don't really like the term 'ear worm', so let's call this a 'lug bug', or preferably a 'lug bugger'. Again, the only release from the Chillers, on Cali's Love Joy Records & produced by Coke Escovedo's brother Pete. You will like this (if you like this sort of thing), that chorus melody is so infectious & the MCs do a right lovely job. The cherry on the crack cake is the way the word "crack" pops up throughout the tune in that marvelous mid '80s "Owner Of A Lonely Heart/Wow - Push that again" style, unfuckablewith. You'll be singing that chorus for weeks, plus they're called the Ace Lord Chillers for frig's sake.

Then we have more west coast action from A'lan "The Fox" Bennett with "Rocks". On Al's own Fox Records, which, like Love Joy, were distributed by Macola. Even if you say the words "nineteen eighty five" aloud, it can never sound as 1985 as this track. Now, I don't wanna start any beef, but I think it's fair to say that our boy A'lan was not the most gifted MC ever, but the little drawing of the fox on the record label is nice, so, swings & roundabouts.

"Stop Cracking" by Audio Source is a bit more like it, that mid '80s back & forth rhyming is in effect. Here's a quote - "Get On The Mic & Rap About Crack", and by jove, they bloody do ! You won't be surprised to hear that this was the only release from Audio Source, the track was recorded in Long Island, but was released by North Carolina's Cash Money Records, I have no idea why, seems a bit of a trek. Produced by George Kerr (who seems to pop up a lot on Strictly Biz comps) & Samm Culley from legendary groups such as Skull Snaps & The Fatback Band, & is therefore breakbeat royalty. "Stop Cracking" appears to be the only track both MCs appeared on, which is a bit of a pisser as they are doing a decent job on this one.

Then we have Bipo.
Oh Bipo.
Aaah Bipo.
Guess what ???
This is the only thing he ever released as far as I know.
One of the dudes who worked on this co-produced "The Alarm" by The Hawk, what that means is anyone's guess though.
Actually, he did release another track in 1988 called "Why ?" (Which is exactly what you ask when you hear it).
OK, you got me, i'm trying hard not to diss Bipo, cos he was probably a lovely bloke, but it's pretty difficult...
Anyway, this is Bipo's first joint & it's called "Crack Is Wack", which may be starting to sound familiar at this point. Yeah, it's fairly shit, but it sounds like Rakim over a Mozart track produced by Quincy fucking Jones compared to "Why ?".
Now, Bipo got down with this anti crack shit due to being friends with Keith Haring. Ah, now we're getting somewhere. Bipo worked in Keith's original Pop Shop store in Lower Manhattan & first performed the track in the infamous Tunnel nightclub. There is a music video of our boy busting his rhymes in front of Keith's original mural, but i'll be buggered if I can find it. That's about all I really know about Bipo, but he is with some fly honeydips in the pics I can find of him online, but he also has tight jeans, so I can't make up my mind.

The next track is a bit interesting, it's the first BDP track (by name anyway), released in 1986 just before they blew the frig up, it's "Say No Brother (Crack Attack - Don't Do It)". That's about as interesting as it gets though, but it's a rare record, & Jumbo gets rhymed with Dumbo quite a bit, so it can't be that bad, can it ?!? Nah, it's not that bad, it's just not that good either, I should say some more about this important song, but i'm not going to, so there.

All the old heads should love this next shit, it's "The Pipe" by Bottomline, another one that is soooooo 1985.
Pity that it was released in 1987.
Actually it was released twice, it's also out there credited to one Aletha Metcalf, but it's the same track. It's another Cali joint, which may explain why it sounded retro in '87, not to disrespect millions of people, but the West (usually) took it's time to catch up to the holy East until the late '80s. (Ouch - Sorry, please don't shoot me). "The Pipe" was produced by Rich Cason, who was responsible for the hilarious/amazing "When Doves Cry Rapp (pts 1, 2 & 3)", which also alerted us to the woes of bugle, as well as a big fuck load of other songs. Personally, I like "The Pipe" (The song, not the object). Like a lot of these tracks it reminds me of being young, carefree & on crack, except for the crack bit.

Hurrah for Philly's own Crusaders Of Bass, they are here to save us with "Don't Put The Bubble In The Pipe". They have a good point, crack is totally harmless, as long as you don't smoke it. Yes ! - This is the only thing they released. Yes ! - This is the only release on Shakee Deal records. Also the only track produced by Chilli Willi, who, in fairness did a decent enough job. Probably one of the better tracks featured here, but I am fully aware that's not particularly difficult. I just hope their message doesn't apply to spirit levels though, cos I don't dig wonky shelves yo.

That bloody crack got about, the next selection is from Detroit, it's called "Free-Base City", & it's by the gramatically dodgy  Conniosseurs Of Groove. It was produced by Larry Reynolds from The Dramatics & featured on the "Reap & Destroy" LP, actually the LP version is different, better even, so that should have probably been the one featured here, but it isn't, so that will give you all reason to dig out the LP & witness some of the absolute shittiest artwork ever, obviously designed by someone who had one too many jumbos that day.

"Crack's Not Where It's At" by Cool J Watt is pretty ill, chunky drums, nice flow, rare as fuck, what else do you want ?
It's the B side to the superdope LL diss track "I'm Mad". What a record ! Hunt it down, buy it, love it, fuck your life up & be forced to sell it, sort your shit out & buy it again, love it again, live happily ever after.

Did I mention spelling a minute ago ?
Sort of !
Anyway, next in line is a man who couldn't spell his song correctly, or even his own name, which surely makes him a hero. It's  Cool Tauras Lover with "Free Baseing (Cocaine)". Now our man Tauras is a proper smoothie, no silly - he isn't made from smushed up fruit, he's a man, a human man, a loverman. Tauras started out in the crew known as The Cool Love Brothers who released the very entertaining "Gigolo" in 1984, then done did the dolo with the track featured here, before deciding that he was far too smooth to rap any more & took up singing instead. Actually he was singing before he was rapping under his real name Michael Sterling, check out "Desperate" from 1983, that shit will blow the roof off anywhere. The joint right here known as "Free Baseing (Cocaine)" is great, I think. Or it might be shit, I can't make my mind up. Either way, it's weirdly laid back for a 1986 hip hop track & is an essential part of this compilation. Hang on, it is shit ! No !! It's proper good, burrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......

Craftmaster's name sounds like something you would buy from B&Q, but his voice sounds like a cartoon character. Unfortunately I can't remember which cartoon character. Answers on a postcard to the usual address.

Deph Kreation are on some proper Bontempi shit with "John Doe". Equal amounts of "Change The Beat" cuts & the word "crack" dropping all over the shop, cheap & terrible & fucking brilliant. From the legendary (!) "War On Drugs" LP.

DJ Hollywood is an absolute legend, but "Smokin' Jumbos" is a pile of shit. I think he was doing lots of crack when he recorded it, Hollywood has stated "Even when I was cracked out and cold fucked up, niggas would clean me up, so I could rock a party" - Just not this particular party, eh.

If you haven't got the idea yet, Dr Geek is here to let us know that crack is bad for you with "Crack (Bad For You)". Cheers for clearing that up Doc. I'm not sure about his actual medical credentials, but Dr Geek is an interesting dude, look him up, or do something less boring instead.

"Stop! (Before You Get Started)" by Fresh Express is easily one of the best tracks of this whole shit. Everything about this track is amazing, the rappers are hard, the beat is ill, & the way they pronounce the name "Elvis Presley" is fucking incredible.
Yes, I know I said it, but i'm saying it again, this joint is absolutely ridiculous. It's a 45, it's rare, I need it.
Like crack.

Both versions of "Crack It Up" by Funkmaster Wizard Wiz are included here. Wiz was "the first MC to do a pro Crack record" (his words), you should already know the deal with this track, if not, read here.
Here is a snippet -
"I was performing the song ‘Crack It Up’ at a specific show one night – I actually bought some real crack, I actually bought a pipe, and I actually paid someone to stand in the middle of the crowd. When I cued them with a specific word I would say, they would slam the crack into the pipe and light it right there. I would stop the music and point to this individual, they would blow the smoke in the crowd – people thought it was an illusion until they smelt it and seen that it was real crack – and then the show just lit-up from there!"

G Line Corp's "My Face Is All Numb" is the best track to ever be featured on this blog.
Actually, fuck that.
G Line Corp's "My Face Is All Numb" is the best track to ever be featured on the internet.
Not sure what else they did, but they might be these chaps

"Crack Killed Applejack" by General Kane/General Caine has rapping on it, sort of, but it didn't quite fit in with the other shits here, so it isn't here. Look out for part 4...

Genuine's "Crack Busting Mission" has a sticker on the cover which proadly boasts that the disc "Contains The Smash Hit 'Crack Busting Mission'". Crack Busting Mission is the only track.

Gigolo Tony is a repeat Strictly Biz offender. He was all up in the Roxanne Wars, he's here, & he will be on part 3. But more importantly, he made amazing shit like this.

"Crack Kid" by Goldie is the only release by Human Beat Box King Lamont "Kendu" James.

Why do Hands Up sound a bit slow off the mark ?
Because they are the plod !
Yes - "Do Crack Take The Rap" was by a bunch of bloody rozzers.
This quote from an a 1987 interview found here says it all.
"The basic idea of our song is if you want to fool around with cocaine, you'll get caught" said patrol officer Charles 'Pete' Lawrence, 33, who helped write the rap."
Personally I think that if your name is Charles but your nickname is Pete, then crack is the least of your worries.

As far as I know, "Fight The Pipe" was the closest that Jefferson Ink got to an actual rap track. Before they were spitting bars, the brothers from Houston were dropping amazing shit like this....

"Getting Into Crack" by KC & The Whip is only just over a minute long, but it shares an executive producer credit (Fred Lockhart) with "True Bad Boy" by Men Of Respect & that shit's fucking strong style.

Kenzo's "The Pipe" was produced by the original rapper flapper chap - Edwin Birdsong, but more importantly, was released on the Philly based Rap Records label. Yeah, I know that Rap Records is the greatest label name ever, that's probably why there were at least 6 different labels operating under this name. Saying that, there have been at least 16 different Kenzos. (True !)

"Monster Crack" - decent track, as far as Kool Moe Dee's solo shit went anyway, although he does attempt to rhyme "money" with "twenty", but who gives a fuck, Boy George did New Jack Swing.

Mackaronie & The Cold Crush Crew are here with their only release, on the Cold Crush Music label. Nice stuff, but so obscure that I can't find a copy of the entire track. Mack & The Crew are/were from Connecticut (hook me up Wigz) & the record is as rare as fish legs.

Here's a quote from Fat Lace about "Crack Down (On Cracking It Up)" by Marc Love -
"It’s the sole credit for pretty much everyone involved".
Hmmmmm, that pattern has fully emerged & is out in the open for all to see, cool tune though.

"Cracked Out" by Masters Of Ceremony is the tits - that is all.

MC "Mello" De's "Cocaine Blues" makes it to part one (you know the rules !) even though the title alludes to powder, the lyrics are well about white nuggets (mainly anyway).

Call me Slowpoke, but I only recently realised that the hook on "Jane Stop This Crazy Thing" is sampled from The Jetsons. Flavor Flav also attempts to use the phrase on a 2006 track called "Unga Bunga Bunga", which has to be avoided by any means necessary.

Jane's on crack, so is Paula according to MC Shy-D. That crack is rough yo, at one point Paula got so fucked that she lost almost her entire body weight & thought she could run a marathon, but just ended up shitting in the street. Crack is wack people.

MEGA-byTE's name is clearly taking the piss, but he previously went by the much simpler Disco Daddy, who released 1981's "Gigolo Rapp" with Captain Rapp. His "Chasin' The Rock", which is featured here sounds slightly dated, but then it would do wouldn't it. There are lots of interesting related tracks which I am not going to mention, do you own research sissy !

Michael Stewart's "Crack Kills" was borderline for making the cut, it's hip hopibility is fairly questionable, but it's rare so shut up.

"Just Say No (To Drugs)" by New World Music - same as above, but without the "rare" bit.

Ninga feat DJ Spivey's "Crack Attack" is a bit of a rarity here, as it's on a label that you have actually heard of, i.e. Enjoy Records (& produced by Bobby Robinson). Spivey's claim to fame was being a member of the Boo-Dah Bliss Crew alongside Spoonie Gee & Doug E Fresh.

NWA's original version of "Dopeman" makes an appearance here, as the dope being referred to is our old friend freebase cocaine. Ridiculously dope (man), but then you already knew that.

"Crack Attack" by the  Poetry Boys is pretty nice, plus the only photo of the producer (Jeremiah Yisrael) on the entire internet is the one a couple of pics up, so you know it fits lovely into the "obscure rap" section.

Professor Boo - "Crack & Cocaine". I don't know who was on the cymbal, but they sounded strung the fuck out. Too much crack & cocaine..

Public Enemy's "Megablast" is well sparse.
Flavor allegedly spent $5,696,6000 on crack.

Produced & arranged by Wade Marcus, who keeps the horns bumping. "Crackin' Up" by R Justice Allen actually got a UK release, with a picture cover no less. It's not a certified classic by any means, but it was published by Fanny Mac Music, which surely can only be seen as a positive.

From the Moto Citay - "Crack Attack" by Reverend Lowdown & The Ministry Of Rhythm feat The Brimstone Cru is the only release on Busta-Gruve Records. It's also seems to be the only release by Reverend Lowdown, The Ministry Of Rhythm & The Brimstone Cru. Those bloody Beastie's have a lot to answer for.

Another one from Detroit,  Ronnie Gee's "Crackstreet" is pretty blooming dope. Ronnie was involved in some interesting joints.
Go hunt 'em down, some are pricey, but that will mean you haven't got any money left for crack, which is the entire point here. Me & Ronnie have just saved you from a life of hell. No need to thank us, just make a small donation to a local feline based charity. Ithenkyoooou.

RRR Productions - "The Crack Attack". Uh. The rapper is called Robbie Rob. I really have no idea what else to say.

"Drugs" by Simply Deft is fucking iiiiiillllllllll, the label has lots of pretty colours & it's rarer than steak tartare (which may be why it says "Meaty Music" on it).

Splendid Blend is the name of the group & the label (probably), & "Whack Cracks (What Are We Gonna Do)" is a bit of a gem. From Plainfield, New Jersey, home of P-Funk. Here's a shocker - it's a rare record...

Stan-Zoid's "Coke Ain't The Real Thing" is a bit of a winner really. Chunky beats & quality raps, plus DJ Light'in Rich with some tight cuts & beat scratches. Also some singing of terrible lyrics, weird keyboards & Eric Clapton. It was co produced by a Mr Ken Murphy, who had his fingers in some of Roxanne's pies. (Coming soon, pt 4080...).

"The Tragedy (Don't Do It)" is a bit of a monumental track. Several elements of the Superkids track gave life to things that would go on to become fundamental pieces of hip hop culture (look it up brainhead). A thorough investigation of the track's history is absolutely imperative. But this is not the time or place for that, this is the time & place to point out that the former Intelligent Hoodlum, the artist we know & love as Tragedy Khadafi was once known as Percy Tragedy. Percy Faith is a good name, Percy Sledge is better, Percy Sugden is on some Don Dada shit. But Percy Tragedy ?!? Percy Muhfuckin' Tragedy !!! Game over man.

"Get Tough (On Crack)" by Tears Of Joy, aka Manhattan (?) group 2-Nice is bare...
No, not bear...
Don't start that shit again.
Get Tough (On Crack)" by Tears Of Joy, aka Manhattan (?) rapper 2-Nice is bare but bootiful, it could be the perfect four & a half minute anti crack single, but I don't know how to properly work it out scientifically, so we'll all just have to accept the fact that we might never be able to answer that question...
2-Nice also did "Frauds".

The Homeboys' "Drugs" is taken from the forthcoming LP "Shotgun". It was forthcoming in 1987, so i'm guessing that it should probably be with us soon. I for one can't wait.

Right. Take "Moments In Love", combine it with "I Need Love", but put some spin on it like Necro did, & you get "Moments In Drugs". Only that's not what it's called. It's called "Katie's On Crack" & It's by KRD aka The King Royal D, & it's pretty fucking cool. It was released in '89, but actually recorded in '87, which means that it lives here.

"Crack, Crack, Don't Do It" by The Maniacs was produced by Cutmaster DC. It's the B side to "Bum MCs", which may or may not be humourous depending on which side of the Atlantic you dwell.

The Rangers' "Jacks On Crack" may sound familiar to longtime readers, it's been all up in this blogpiece before, due to the legendary Paul C hooking up the drums. CJ Moore gets many a credit on this one, which is to his credit, cos it's dope yah.

"Crack It Up" by The Sundance Kids is listed on Discogs as "Crack It Up/Free Basing" even though the label doesn't actually say that. However, it does say "the other side of time" for reasons which are as of yet unexplained. The track itself is camper than a bumbag full of winkles.

"Motivation" by the Untouchable MC's is a cool track, but it does once again bring up the question - Was there ever an 80's hip hop crew who understood how the apostrophe works ?

"You Gotta Stay Back From Crack" is by Thee Untuchables, who are different from the aforementioned Untouchable MC's, but that doesn't mean that you can touch them. Just the one credit for the crew, but Mark Styles of the cool name/interesting library shits is involved, plus the cuts are by Madcap labelmate Tim Slick, who also has a cool name, & is the current owner of the world's greatest remix titles collection. (See "I Caught Her" B-side).

Tina Jackson's "No To Crack" sounds highly entertaining, from the two snippits that are included here anyway. This track has been stupidly hard to track down, & only one single Discogs member claims to own it. But the truth is out there people, so one of you lovely lot - please send a decent copy this way, so it can be included with an update. Spend A Little - Live A Lot !

Toddy Tee feat Mix Master Spade - "Just Say No"
The debut of Compton pioneer Mixmaster Spade.
I could never put this into mere words, for your own good - please watch this.
I would like to point out that my girlfriend recently commented on the Toddy Tee classic - "Ooh, Batterram, I like this, I used to listen to this all the time", Thus proving the existence of all Gods. For more on "Batterram" see part 4. (seriously).

This next joint is so fucking ill that the B side fell off. It's the Together Brothers with "Get Smart (On The Crack)". Absolutely one of the highlights here, or anywhere for that matter, even though their stuff sounds like it was recorded in a pissy shoebox. The Brothers did some dope tracks that you can't afford.
Strangely enough, their only LP was seemingly engineered by a member of early '90s dance nobs Altern 8

As we know, back in '85 some people were slanging rocks, but this dude was slanging tapes, it's Oakland's looooooooong serving player/pimp/mack/e.t.c. The legendary Too Short with the amazing "Girl (Cocaine)", the first vinyl release on the 75 Girls label. This was the Short Dog's first actual studio recording & was featured on the Don't Stop Rappin' LP.

If we can take one thing from "High Rollin' - Drug Abuse" by Torrid, it would be that tooting crack makes you look like a scallywag. Oh, & that producer Len Jewell did some lovely tracks that you also can't afford.

Tretch Material surprisingly enough only ever released one track, titled "Don't Think About Drugs" & another one from the War On Drugs LP, so it's also presumably from Connecticut, so shout out once again to my partner in rhyme Chestwigz, chilling in the Nutmeg State.

True Life's "Cocaine Crack (You Might Not Make It Back)" is a bit interesting. The Bomb Squad's Eric "Vietnam" Sadler is credited as the producer, but he says that it was actually produced by an ex fuzz named W Blunt II. One of the MCs later released The Brain On Drugz EP on Tuff City under the name Da Bandit, with his friend who is known as Boodah. I can not confirm if these are the names on their birth certificates.

One of the rappers on "You Should Know To Say No" by TSG is called Dwayne Johnson. Bearing the theme of this compilation in mind, if he turns out to be The Rock I will absolutely piss !

"Crack Addict" by the Tuf MCs is a bit mysterious. Released on the New York based Sweet Georgia Peach (obscure & expensive), there is definitely some Brit action kicking off, but I have no idea who by. So, if any of you can fill in the gaps, contact us at the usual address & you may win a prize. Probably not though.

Turning Point's "Life Is Fresh/Crack Is Wack" is the solitary release on the Life Is Fresh Inc label, sounds about right. The gimmick with this 'un is that the two MCs (Dale Anderson & Tee Johnson) are both former jumbo puffers. The sleeve says this -
"This record is dedicated to our nation's young people. It is our hope that it will help them to better understanding and "say no" to the peer pressures and temptations of drugs, particualary "CRACK".
In all to many instances alcoholism and drug abuse has infiltrated our schools and homes, an evil that can only be rectified through education.
Tee and Dale battled this evil and have overcome it. Their experiences and horrible suffering while addicted to drugs are reflected in this musical message, but it also contains the hope that others can be rescued from the powerful seduction and the deadly hold of "CRACK".
All proceeds from the sale of this record will go to alcohol and drug abuse prevention, education and rehabilitation programs.
If we save anyone from the life-shattering menace of "CRACK", this musical message will have done its job. Thank you for your support."
Word 'em up. Keep on keeping off Dale & Tee !

Twin B's "Grim Reaper" is both low quality & high quality at the same time, so when you have a track that seems to defy the laws of the universe, you know you should probably give it a listen.
For a minute.
Plus the fact that Twin B did stuff with Disco Beave, & Disco Beave is Servin' !
Anyway, "Grim Reaper". Nice track, but a little bit long. You may agree if you dare to venture beyond the 5 minute mark...

"Basepipe (It's Not Your Friend)" by Vansilk & Afrika Islam has taught mankind two important lessons.
1 - Don't smoke crack.
2 - Van Silk really should have released more tunage.

"Put The Pipe Down" - Damn right. If you happen to come across a record with the name West Coast Crew on it, best you buy (or steal) it. Partly cos their shit is dope, partly cos they have a member called Willie Lemon aka Lemon-Lime.

And finally we have Your Brother with "Get Ready Devil It's Your Turn To Catch Some Hell" - The lyrics state that crack "Turns You Into An Ugly Witch".
Nope, i've had enough now, bugger off.
And you can stick that in your pipe & smoke it !

Strictly Business present -
Strictly Crack (Is Wack) pt1

2 Fresh - Crackdown
450 - The Rock
AC Posse - Tragic Magic
Ace Lord Chillers - Living In A Cracktown
A'lan 'The Fox' Bennett - Rocks
Audio Source - Stop Cracking
Bipo - Crack Is Wack
Boogie Down Productions - Say No Brother (Crack Attack - Don't Do It)
Bottomline - The Pipe
C.O.B. (Crusaders Of Bass) - Don't Put The Bubble In The Pipe
Conniosseurs Of Groove - Free-Base City
Cool J Watt - Crack's Not Where It's At
Cool Tauras Lover - Free Baseing
Craftmaster - The Crack Attack
Daveon - Don't Do It
Deph Kreation - John Doe
DJ Hollywood - Smokin' Jumbos
Don Juan - The Pipe
Dr Geek - Crack (Bad For You)
Dr Ti - Crack!
Eniqueity - Crack, Don't Do It
Fresh Express - Stop! (Before You Get Started)
Freshin' Fli - Crack City
Funkmaster Wizard Wiz - Crack It Up
Funkmaster Wizard Wiz - Crack It Up (You Better Not)
G Line Corp - My Face Is All Numb
Genuine - Crack Busting Mission
Gigolo Tony - I Am Crack Cocaine
Goldie - Crack Kid
Hands-Up - Do Crack Take The Rap
Jefferson Ink - Fight The Pipe
KC & The Whip - Getting Into Crack
Kenzo - The Pipe
Kingdom - The Base Is In Your Face
Kool Moe Dee - Monster Crack
M-4 Sers - Crack Is Wack
Mackaronie & The Cold Crush Crew - Crack Down
Marc Love - Crack Down (On Cracking It Up)
Masters Of Ceremony - Cracked Out
MC Mello De - Cocaine Blues
MC Shan - Jane Stop This Crazy Thing
MC Shy-D - Paula's On Crack
MEGA-byTE - Chasin' The Rock
Michael Stewart - Crack Kills
New World Music - Just Say No (To Drugs)
Ninga feat DJ Spivey - Crack Attack
NWA - Dope Man
Pazazzz ! ! - Crack Attack (Say No!)
Poetry Boys - The Crack Attack
Professor Boo - Crack & Cocaine
Public Enemy - Megablast
R Justice Allen - Crackin' Up
Rennie Ren - Brother To Brother Stop Smoking!
Reverend Lowdown & The Ministry Of Rhythm feat The Brimstone Cru - Crack Attack
Ronnie Gee - Crack Street
RRR Productions - The Crack Attack
Simply Deft - Drugs
Splendid Blend - Whack Cracks (What Are We Gonna Do)
Stan-Zoid - Coke Ain't The Real Thing
Super Kids - The Tragedy (Don't Do It)
Tears Of Joy - Get Tough (On Crack)
The Hit Hard Crew - Doin' Drugs
The Homeboys - Drugs
The King Royal D - Katie's On Crack
The Maniacs - Crack, Crack, Don't Do It
The Rangers - Jack's On Crack
The Sundance Kids - Crack It Up
The Untouchable MCs - Motivation
Thee Untuchables feat Mark Anthony - You Gotta Stay Back From Crack
Tina Jackson - No To Crack
Toddy Tee feat Mix Master Spade - Just Say No
Together Brothers - Get Smart (On The Crack)
Too Short - Girl (Cocaine)
Torrid - High Rollin' – Drug Abuse
Tretch Material - Don't Think About Drugs
True Life - Cocaine Crack (You Might Not Make It Back)
TSG - You Should Know To Say No
Tuf MCs - Crack Addict
Turning Point - Life Is Fresh, Crack Is Wack
Twin B - Grim Reaper
Vansilk feat Afrika Islam - Basepipe (It's Not Your Friend)
West Coast Crew - Put The Pipe Down
Your Brother - Get Ready Devil It's Your Turn To Catch Some Hell

Password - defandstupid

These are the tracks that we were unable to include.
If you have them, or anything that we missed, send them this way for future updates.

Rhyme Master Mr Spice & The Chosen Few - No Crack
Demetrius BKA Dollar Bill - Cocaine Blues
The Rappin' Reverend Dr C Dexter Wise III - Crack Attack
Lord C & Lord Dis - Crack Won't Make It Right
Pupa Curly – Crack Is A Killer
LG Luv & The Krew - Crack
The Bad Street Boys – No Fumes Ese Crack/Don't Smoke That Crack
Rappin Rudy - Turn Your Back On "Crack Cocaine" (Rudy Ray Moore!)

& a better version of Tina Jackson - No To Crack

Well, a better version of most of the tracks really.

If you would like to purchase a Strictly Business thong, please visit this site.

That's part one done son.
Part two soon.
Crack is still wack...

Shout outs.
Chestwigz, Skar, 157, LuCipher, my brothers Friendly & Sonny, Reepster & ABU crew, Myk Apache, Patti A & Stormy, the V.I.U. lot -  Nikki, Robin, not Hoodoo Doreen, Waxer, Drew Hoooge, Mic Nitro, GringoKid, Tyni & Black Belt, Sav Hen, Denty, EveR, Breazy, Vinnie Vaga, MonoX & Breakz, all Strictly crew, E.C.O. crew, Lili Love & The Cats, Critical, Jake, Hippy Hippy Hips, Barney PritStik, my dude Lenny up the coast, Wigz again, TnF, My dude War way up in North Crooks, The C.H.E.F, that bloke who walks about swinging his arms, Georgie Boy in the area, MC G & all The Phukkin' Kuntz obviously, Internet peeps who make shit like this possible, G Line Corp, Fresh Express, The Ace Lord Chillers & all the others who made shit like this still fun, record sellers & buyers, trainer sellers & buyers, Jay Tee, Barry & Herbert, Mystery Chefs, Hiroshima Twinky, Cecil Slinger, Wrong Speed Hairy Palms, The Phantom Lagger, Snoopy...

"Inhale, Exhale, You Don't Care - Coke Smoke Only, No Fresh Air""


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