Saturday, 4 June 2011

Strictly Beatbox - Volume 2

"Brrrrrrrrrrrr - Stick 'Em !"

Ladies & Gentlemen, Welcome to the second volume of Strictly Beatbox, once again we have some gigantic joints for you, starting things off with the popular (25 years ago) 'Ignunt Human Beat Box Tracks About Ladies' genre.

The late great Eazy E (rest in grease) with Ron-De-Vu had a "Fat Girl" on his jock, which probably didn't do him a lot of good in the long run (sorry). Proper good tune though, & our boy Eazy is on fine form.
Microphone god Melle Mel & Bronx Style Bob hit us with dope nasty rhymes and another catchy singalong chorus while the amazing Emanon completely kills it with his astonishingly nice beatboxing on the "live" version of "Susie". Really though, Emanon is too dope for words, just play it - lots.
Then we have Fresh To Impress with their human beatbox A Train telling us another sad tale of a girl (also called Susie\Suzi, probably the same "lady" from Emanon's joint, i'm presuming that she gets around a bit) who looks "Fresh, Fresh, Fresh", but is unfortunately diseased. Another lovely joint from the 'Boston Goes Def' compilation, Suzi apparently gets shagged to death, but still continues to beatbox from beyond the grave.
What a girl !

The incredible Squeaky G makes his triumphant return to Strictly Beatbox on R.M.G.'s superb "Sam's A Man", believe it or not this is another human beatbox jam about a fly honey who turns out to be a bloke (which really doesn't suprise me anyway, although the name of the track is a bit of a giveaway). Of course Squeaky is megadope, the man is an absolute beatbox legend. Finest quality beats & rhymes, another classic !
The Fresh MC with Disco P on the beat box kick another fresh joint about "Girls", of course they do! Another fatty with several quality song renditions. Girls and beatbox, what else do you want ?!?
MC Mitchski returns with M.B. The Human Radio stirring it up with a lady (possibly Latoya's sister) called "Goya", which almost didn't make the ignunt\beatbox grade........... Until Mitchski pulls out his nob. Good for him.
And finally, Daddy O and human beat box legend Wise with their crew Stetsasonic tell us "A Little Story With An Added Surprise" (Really.....?), about a girl named "Faye" who... get this.... isn't a man & doesn't have any sexually transmitted diseases (Fuck ! That actually was a surprise !!!).
Instead she has a nice meal with our heroes, happily lets them double team her, then sings them a little song. Aaaah, how refreshing.

D Nice returns to Strictly Beatbox with KRS on B.D.P.'s "Breath Control" (Anybody out there got a copy of the documentary 'Breath Control' they wanna send our way ?!?),
T La Rock and Greg En Eye Cee Eee seem to be "Having Fun" as they twat about for two minutes and keep saying "really great" until Gregory begs Terry to let him "rock one beat in chinese" and kicks 40 seconds of huge stupid kung fu beat box.
The immensely dope Jockbox from the (Strictly Biz fave) Skinny Boys, deliver us another winner with the huuuuuge "Get Funky".
Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince's buddy 'The Human Linn Drum' - Ready Rock C kicks his lovely underwater Sanford & Son theme on "Rock the House" (What the hell is it with beatboxers & Sanford & Son ? Any UK beatboxers out there busting off the Steptoe & Son theme ??).
Then DMX (like I said before, not the horrible constipated one) & Just Ice get busy on the wicked "The Original Gangster Of Hip Hop" The pair were a deadly combination and this track is 'Just Plain Terror !'

The holy trio are represented this time around with Buffy being obese with the beat box on the Fat Boy's classic (how many times have I said classic yet ?) "Stick 'Em", fuck it, i'll say it again.... The Fat Boy's CLASSIC "Stick 'Em", awesome track obviously, sampled by everyone & their nanna, dope hard rhyming and huge beats.
Doug E is here twice again, with Slick Rick on the timeless & hugely popular (and rightly so) La-Di-Da-Di, brilliant stuff which influenced a lot of other joints on this compilation, and solo on the beautifully titled and extra excellent "Bonus Lesson # 1", "Get Fresh Doug, And Do The Beatbox" - (in the words of Shakin' Stevens) - Lovely stuff !
The third of our heroic trio, the diabolical Biz Markie, also appears here twice, doing the 'Miaow Mix' bit with plenty of 'Booorph - Ha Ha' on the R.O.X.A.N.N.E's "Def Fresh Crew", and displaying his repertoire on the solo cut "A One, Two."
Altogether now - "I'm - The - Human - Orchestraaaaa-a-a-a-a-a"

The Legendary Run shows us that he can kick beats with the best of 'em on Run DMC's quickie "Son Of Byford".
Akeim & Narkim, better known as B-Boy Records' The Brothers with their second appearance here, tell us "all beatboxers aren't created equal" with a track to let all other beatboxers know that "You Can't Win", that's the shit right there son !
Another Flair favourite U.T.F.O. make an appearance here with the debonair Doctor Ice making the music with his mouth on "So Be It".
A.C. Posse with their human beatbox, whom I believe to be called Baby Beats, give a warning about the dangers of crack (fair enough) & p-funk (Wha ? Am I missing something here ? Are Parlifunkadelicment actually dangerous ?!?) on the human beat box version of "Tragic Magic".
Next up, Big Bang and his crew The Doctors Of Rapp with "Big Bang Theory", Dope beatboxing - Yep, Dope rhymes - Yep, Ropey singalong chorus - Oh yep. Ticks all the boxes there then !

American Express are desperately trying to restrain their human beatbox friend Boonie who has gone off on a wild beatbox fuelled rampage across the planet, the problem being that Boonie's beats are so loud that they can be heard from virtually anywhere, in fact "They say his beats can be heard by God", Blimey ! Boonie is later questioned about his location, seemingly not wanting to be found, he denies everything, even stating that he doesn't even know where he is himself, although when asked "Are You Fresh ?" Boonie makes his reply with the rather positive "Yes, Yes-Yes !" I have to agree. Boonie is eventually located, but we unfortunately never get to find out if he is captured as the song finishes with a cliffhanger ending, 25ish years later and I for one am still waiting to find out. It's called "Beat Box On The Loose" and it rocks.

Then we have The RCC Roxbury Crush Crew with Professor Rock getting absolutely ill with the beatbox on "Stop, Look and Listen", another top notch joint with a particularly dope rendition of Kraftwerk's "Tour De France".
The Final entry for this second volume of Strictly Beatbox is the mental "Boo Boo's Break" by the incredibly named Troy The Wonder Boy & Electric 1000 featuring 'The Six Year Old Wonder' (Who sounds more like an angry chain smoking pensioner) Boo Boo B. This jam is rather deranged & very dope indeed, but if Boo Boo is doing the rhymes and the beatbox, Herc only knows what the aforementioned Troy & the other thousand odd people were doing, maybe they programmed one sound each on the drum machine or something. Bizarre & brill.

Anyways, that's part two done, some fantastic tracks, i'm sure you'll agree. But don't you go thinking that this is finished.... Ohhhh Noooo.
Much more mouth malarkey to come, right here at Strictly Business.

Strictly Business presents
Strictly Beat Box - volume 2

A.C. Posse - Tragic Magic (Human Beat Box Version)
American Express - Beat Box On The Loose
Biz Markie - A One, Two
Boogie Down Productions - Breath Control
Disco P & The Fresh M.C. - Girls
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Rock The House
Doug E Fresh - Bonus Lesson # 1
Doug E Fresh & The Get Fresh Crew - La-Di-Da-Di
Eazy E featuring Freshly Done - Fat Girl
Emanon featuring Melle Mel & Bronx Style Bob - Susie (Live Version)
Fat Boys - Stick 'Em
Fresh To Impress - Suzi Q
Just Ice - The Original Gangster Of Hip Hop
MC Mitchski The Rappin' Comedian & M.B. The Human Radio - Goya
Professor Rock & The RCC Roxbury Crush Crew - Stop, Look and Listen
R.M.G. - Sam's A Man
Roxanne Shanté - Def Fresh Crew
Run DMC - Son Of Byford
Skinny Boys - Get Funky
Stetsasonic - Faye
T La Rock - Having Fun
The Brothers - You Can't Win
The Doctors Of Rapp - Big Bang Theory (Human Beat Box)
Troy The Wonder Boy & Electric 1000 featuring Boo-Boo B - Boo Boo's Break
U.T.F.O - So Be It

Password - defandstupid

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